Mormon Stories works better than the church...

The Mormon Stories Houston Conference was incredible. I think I might have even liked Houston better than the Salt Lake Conference this last summer. I vowed after I went to the Salt Lake Conference that I would never go to a conference again, but I’m glad I forgot that vow and made the trek from Baton Rouge to Houston.

• I met a lot of the Houston MoHos and even got to stay over at Evan and Bryan’s house. (Bryan has a kick-ass aquarium with some really cool aggressive fish!)  
• I also got to meet Andrew and though we did not have a lot of time together we had a few awesome conversations. It made me smile as we sat side by side in the meeting scribbling our notes down. I look forward to reading what he thinks about the conference.   
• Hanging out in Houston even included a group of us singing at the top of our lungs while a fellow MoHo played Book of Mormon Musical songs on his piano.
• I met a mom who took 20 years coming around to understand her gay daughters. It made me feel like a jerk for giving up on my family so easily… Even if it takes years it is worth it.

As several others at the conference pointed out, it is rare to walk into a room anywhere and be able to make deep connections with an entire group of people. I felt so much love, understanding and friendship at the conference. It really showed me what church could and should be like… I’m pretty sure that if church felt as warm, accepting and inviting as a Mormon Stories Conference almost no one would leave…

Over the last few days I have found myself questioning why church is not more like a Mormon Stories Conference? Why is there not this feeling of love and acceptance? Why is there not always a strong feeling of understanding and respect?

A lot of it has to do with the focus and purpose behind the two organizations.

Someone at one point commented on the diversity of the group attending the conference. There were TBMs. There were people like me that had resigned and there was every single step in between. Some go to church every Sunday and some have not been in years and yet there we were altogether.

The comment on diversity hit me pretty hard. I thought to myself, “No, this same diversity exists in the church itself. We are all from the church itself. It is just underground and hidden from sight.” Differences at the Conference were celebrated. Differences at church usually aren’t.

When I think such thoughts my little agnostic gay self thinks that not only could I benefit from finding a way to embrace my heritage, but other people would too. As John Dehlin pointed out, the moment that one stands up and shows their unorthodox colors it makes a safe space for others to be less orthodox too.

I think another huge gap between church and Mormon Stories is that the focus at Mormon Stories is not on “true” and “right” but rather on “good” and “valuable”. It is all about embracing the good parts of our Mormon heritage. It is about choosing the ground upon which we will engage with Mormonism.

That shift in focus really makes all of the difference.