Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Needs mixed with gratitude


I've neglected reflection lately. I have neglected writing. I have neglected a few needs lately. The neglect is not the purposeful neglect of someone who is refusing to face things. It has simply been the neglect of the busy and the tired. Coming home from work I often find that there is just enough energy left to cook dinner (of often pick something up for dinner) and curl up next to my sweet Leigh.

Time to slow down is rare so today on this day off before the holiday all my "needs" caught up with me and crashed into my ankles, falling in a heaping pile at my feet. They sneak on me in the slow moments which are few and far between these days. It is a little bit funny to me that on the day before Thanksgiving rather than thinking about what I have and being grateful I have spent much of the day inhaling deeply, feeling sore leg muscles that are a bit tired of running, wondering where the dark circles around my eyes came from, and thinking about "I need".

I came up with some ways to finish that "I need" sentence and can put those things to rest for now. I sit here and compare last year with this year I do find that though I am in a "tired and busy" stage of life grateful feelings are flooding in now that I think about where I am. The year has been mostly good to me.

1. I am grateful for Leigh. She is a life-changer. She was an unexpected surprise. Sometimes I can't believe that I managed to find someone so wonderful, someone who challenges me, and someone who is usually on the same page with me. I am glad to be walking by her side.

2. I am grateful for the voice that I have found. Figuring out what I want and who I am over the last few years has been a challenging and defining experience. Lots of things have been lost in the process of leaving the church but the things that have been lost are nothing in comparison to gaining myself.

3. I am grateful for my job. (I detest the politics. I struggle with some of the people but my students are brilliant and wonderful and eager to learn. They are why I love my job.)

2 comments:

  1. I liked the paragraph about Leigh the most, I have been so anti-relationship for so long, but there is something in me shifting, I read sentiment like that and I feel like, I want something similar. It's new and exciting feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like I can certainly relate to the many things to do, and the neglect of needs.
    All the best,

    ReplyDelete

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